I Think Our Son Is Gay 01

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My only complaint that I have about this volume is exactly the same complaint that I had about the last one, I hate the father in this story. And I'm finding, quite frankly, I hate all of the adult characters except for the mother. The mother is actually trying to learn about her son and his life, about what those things mean and how to be a better mother to him. Every other adult in the story is deeply annoying. The father hates seeing two men as a couple but he thinks it's really cool when two women are a couple, which is so weird and creepy to me. And I hate that instead of saying that the two women he talks about in the book are married he says they're "gay married" as if gay marriage isn't just regular marriage. I really really hate the father character. And I've also really gotten to the point that I hate the people that the mother works with because they just keep fetishizing their boss who's gay. The mother's boss is pretty much the only other adult that I have no problems with but every other adult in the book is really annoying. He still pulls the teenager stuff that all other teenagers pull: trying to get away with things and be sneaky about other things, but for the most part, we talk as adults now. It’s refreshing and scary and new, all at the same time. I think my stance on this is basically that this book is very good at showing a relationship between a mother and son where the former loves the latter no matter what and you can’t really fault it there. But it’s not compelling and that’s got nothing to do with its LGBQT+ positive story - in fact, that’s the only part that makes it at all interesting. Minus one obvious joke about search histories the “gags” are all just Hiroki being flustered and that’s... not actually funny.

However, ask a GP for advice if you are worried your child is showing signs of being depressed, anxious or withdrawn.Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experiences. (updated edition) (Griffin, C. W., Wirth, M. J., & Wirth, A.G., 1996). New York: St. Martin's Press. I’m finding it to be a very difficult place for a parent to be supportive, absolutely, but you cannot shake the lingering questions and all of the second-guessing. Did I do or say something? Did I give enough love and support? Did I give too much? What makes this happen? Will he see heaven someday? Is he doomed? Am I doomed for having these thoughts about my own son? Holy f&%#, what kind of a mom am I to think this shit? He was so quiet, I was getting tired of hearing myself ask him the same question over and over again, “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?” He always had plenty to Facetime his friends about, but God forbid his father or I try to make him laugh. I could not, for the life of me, figure it out. He began to wear this worried look on his face … well, maybe worry, with a look of guilt too. Again, didn’t want to pry. He’s a teenager, I’m a parent. I know my place. If he needs to talk, he will. We’ve raised him to know that. I crumpled to the ground and sobbed like a baby on our favourite beach in the world, mourning the wedding dreams I had for him, mourning the “bride” I would never meet, much less go wedding dress shopping with. Mourning the biological grandchildren I will never have from him. Mourning all the dreams and hopes and wishes I’ve had for him since the day he was born. I couldn’t catch my breath and my husband held me, and tried to comfort me the best way he could think of. He had no idea how to do this because it’s not something you plan for. However, you may also find out that the feelings you had at a younger age disappear over time and you feel at ease with your biological sex.

He was afraid to tell me, because it’s never been a lifestyle I’ve accepted. I have had gay friends (and been deeply hurt and disappointed when it became obvious.) Sometimes you know, but don’t admit it to yourself. We watched as they delivered a rendition of what I remember as "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," because either they or my memory are unforgivably basic. But it was gorgeous. Stirring and brave and subversive, coming as it did in a time before marriage equality was on the map, a time when you only saw gay people on the news. I got chills.Then he became quiet and sullen. I tried not to look too much into it. He was 15. I was the same way in my adolescent years. I knew it couldn’t be us as parents, we were always telling him how proud of him we were (and are), always asking him about his day, what’s going on in his life. We have these conversations at the dinner table nearly every night as a way to stay in touch and reconnect. We’ve always been supportive of his interests and decisions, and encouraging him in any way possible. God, I don’t know how I pulled the strength together to be okay that day. I smiled, and hugged him, hard, and told him I loved him, no matter what. That’s my job as his mother. It wasn’t a lie then, and it isn’t now. But I can't help but thinking if a queer or gay person can become an object of ridicule just for being who they are I would hate for our son to be in that position someday.' Tomoko is no stranger to change. With two boys in high school and a husband who’s away on the job a lot, being able to adapt to new situations comes with the territory.